编者按:不愧是乞儿浪子,连盒蚊香都舍不得买。 各位看官有礼,别来无恙啊!鬼新娘又来恶搞,近来在金融危机压力下人人心情不爽,新娘虽是个笨鬼也了解一点人间疾苦,所以想逗大家开心一下,就给大家来个小小的笑话吧,希望大家笑纳: s|A[HQUtJ
话说降龙十八掌乃当年丐帮帮主洪七公创下来,并代代相传于丐帮帮主传人,传了n代后传到现任帮主青一剪手里,Abercrombie and Fitch France。青一剪也是名满江湖的美人,有丐世美乞之称,绝招便是降龙十八掌,掌掌送你命。美人美名绝对是新一代乞丐的偶像。 e+-#/i*
闲话过言归正传,chaussure jordan,话说三大高手被卖后,一直想捉香雾和鬼新娘一报卖身之仇,奈何二人溜滑,竟多次让他们逃脱,于是三人今日特请来丐帮主青一剪帮忙,想借丐帮的线眼寻找二人影踪,好一举擒获。 9xz@2b@
时乃三月春未,雾雨纷纷的的黄昏 q
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三大美人与浪子正在相议捉香鬼大计,doudoune moncler。不想竟中了埋伏,但见黑影重重,敌人正似千军之势向众人袭来,air jordan,锐不可挡,青一剪,浪子,花落天涯,小昭正陷入重围,左冲右突叫苦不叠,这回该如何突出重围呢? %q3`k#?<
却听青一剪帮主说道:大家莫急看我的。 &U?4e'N)T
只见帮主摆开功架,施展她的降龙十八掌,但听“啪啪啪……”掌声不断,十八掌一出惊天地,泣鬼神,刹时间血流成河,尸横遍野!敌方军力削弱了不小,四人压力大减。 A03io8D6
花落,小昭大力鼓掌:帮主的降龙十八掌果然名不虚传啊! }Vob)r{R@
青一剪帮主以优美姿势回看浪子道:怎样我的功夫了得吧! No6-i{HZ
“杀鸡焉用牛刀!”却见浪子轻轻一笑,慢慢的从身后拿出火柴,点着一盘蚊香,笑着对青一剪说:打个蚊子还使降龙十八掌啊?真是佩服! >A X_"Q~
帮主:我倒! ukEJ D3i
花落,小昭买力鼓掌! "5<!
花涯风情笑道:哎哟,还是浪子兄聪明! H=,>-eVv*
小昭美目含笑也赴附和道:是的是的!还是浪子兄利害哦。 \By_mw
浪子得意一笑:那还用说!我常常被袭,所以早有准备也。 ]?H12xz
众女:哦,原来如此! keRLai7h
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过了一会,敌军竟是有增无减。 J-'XT_k:iM
小昭说:不对啊!那蚊子好像更狂了啊! ]
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花落也道:对啊? WwTl|wgvyI
青一剪“啪”又使出一掌:浪子你那是什么牌子的蚊香啊? og35Vs0
浪子回道:乃是名牌来的! &.DRAD)
众美女道:奇怪? yOQae m^O
众人迷惑间,门外闪入一鬼影,鬼影道:浪子兄一定又在地摊买东西还买了冒牌货了吧?哈哈…… Vdx
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众人一看正是寻觅多时的鬼新娘! n@ba>m4{
浪子脸一红:地摊便宜点嘛! VFZ?<m
众女:倒! %m f)BC
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只见鬼新娘从身后拿出一盘蚊香点上,jordan pas cher,说是迟那时快,蚊子全逃得无影无踪。 D
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鬼新娘闪到浪子身后拍拍浪子的肩:多时不见浪子兄吝啬依旧啊! ^
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浪子面不红心不跳:节约乃是中国传统美德嘛! A|1xK90^XT
众女:再倒 9#P
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鬼新娘大笑:大家千万莫学浪子啊!买东西一定要去有信誉的商家,买时还要验明正货才好买啊。 fXWE4^jU
众女全力鼓掌!!! zEO~mJzo
浪子道:正牌太贵划不来! frPQi{u$
花涯,小昭,青一剪三人美人对浪子大摇其头:孺子不可教也! ![ce
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浪子:我倒 y*X.DS 1(w
三大美人对浪子及为失望。 Hy\q{
青一剪道:须知蚊子乃病毒之源,被咬了很可能就传染上多种疾病,而且浪子家还盛产白纹伊蚊,此蚊乃蚊子界病毒传染高手,我们刚才乃真是命悬一蚊也。这次是鬼新娘救了我们一命,不如你们三位就当她将功补了过,abercrombie,一笑泯恩仇吧! ~K #92
三人也觉有理,在江湖中多个朋友好过多个敌人。 UakVmVN/P
于是花落,小昭就与鬼新娘握手言和。 X9|*`h <
浪子怎说也是损失最大的人,自然心有不甘,想自已被五座肉山非礼后,至今犹有余怖,不敢近女色呢?你说惨不惨啊!犹豫间,doudoune moncler pas cher,却见鬼新娘捧上一叠蚊香:为表歉意请浪子兄笑纳。 /i
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浪子见她如此诚意也就不好再计较,只好握手言和了。 [zN*P$
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到此大家冰悉前嫌,既然相安无事,就各自散去。 Y%
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雾色中的十里亭 ~ L
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满身香雾手把铁算盘手问鬼新娘:买蚊香花了多少银两? t^K Qv~
鬼新娘掩嘴偷笑:不多,moncler pas cher,我买的是冒牌,哈哈! ca3zY|
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香雾一听也大笑起来:好正合我的要求,这回定又气死浪子了! C4ktCN
鬼新娘道:对的!此地不能久留,我们走吧!哈哈 +U
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二人策马很快地消失于暮色中。 ,N,@9p
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浪子拿着一叠蚊香在大叫:鬼新娘……不捉住你我誓不为人…… FIfLDT+ Wh
还说什么正牌正货,分明是和我一个地摊买的,又上当了!啪… cSB_b.@"1
浪子正在后悔当天怎不偷学几招降龙十八掌呢? :TP4f
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后话:1:一剪你想做江南二富是不成了,就做个帮主吧!乐个逍遥!哈哈 ,7s+-sRG
2:亲爱的美女们谢谢你们对鬼的厚爱!我也爱你们! .!L{yU,
3:有没有美男厚爱鬼啊?有的话请举手!哈哈哈哈相关的主题文章: m?yztm~u
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but not out of the boundaries. G)NqIur*Z
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I am who is good :}fA98S
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UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon said here Thursday that the fate of Palestinian aspirations for statehood or non-member observer statehood is in the hands of member states. `u_MdB}<x;
"The UN Charter is quite clear that the recognition of a State and membership in the United Nations are issues for Member States to decide and other UN intergovernmental bodies," Ban said. hNYO+LrI)
His statements came during a press conference where he addressed issues that have been prominent in the global organization's work of late. #W/Ch"Kv
At the forefront of the list of issues is the question of whether or not Palestine, which is currently only an "observer" at the UN, will receive an elevated status within the organization by aiming to get full-fledged statehood through the Security Council or by seeking the lesser status of non-member observer state via a General Assembly vote. $-pijBiz_
Although Palestine has yet to announce which route it will take, the U.S., which has full veto power in the Security Council, has hinted it will use this power to prevent a Palestinian statehood measure from passing. U_'M9g{,<
"On the admission of a state into the United Nations, this is an issue to be decided by member states in accordance with the Charter provision: first, they should go to the Security Council and get the recommendation by the Security Council, and that should be decided by a two-thirds majority of the General Assembly, " said Ban. Wf8@B#^{
If Palestine submits the bid for statehood, it would do so on Sept. 23, the same day that Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas is slated to address the General Assembly at its plenary session here. X,G"#j^
The secretary-general stated that his role in the process of achieving UN statehood for Palestine remains limited to evaluating "technical" questions. "2-D[rYZ
"When I receive an application from a state for admission into the United Nations, I review all these technical issues - whether this application is in proper form and stating that they are committed to implementing all the Charter provisions," he said. " Then, I refer it to the Security Council." f
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Ban said that he has not yet received any application for Palestinian statehood. LqI&1$#
Riyad Mansour, the permanent observer of Palestine spoke to reporters here Thursday, confirming that Palestinian leaders have yet to announce a final decision on which of the two possible approaches they will choose for boosting Palestine's status at the UN. P(I%9
"The decision has not been finalized but once it is finalized, we will deal with the technicalities and the rules of procedures of how we can implement it and we will try to implement it as soon as possible," he said. {g[kn^|
Abbas has been engaged in talks with leaders from the Arab League, as well as the European Union (EU) on the topic of Palestine's UN aspirations. :oW 16m1`
"After all of these discussions are finalized, we will decide, President Abbas will decide, and we will follow while we are pursing our objective of acquiring what belongs to us -- to become a full member of the United Nations," said Mansour. =&k[qqxg
During his press conference, Ban also commented on the ongoing deadlock in negotiations between Israel and Palestine for a two- state solution in the region. ^CQp5k p]
"I am profoundly troubled by the lack of progress in the peace negotiations," said Ban. "It is vital that they resume." DAf@-~c
Direct talks between Israel and Palestine stalled in October 2010, when Israel declined to renew a moratorium on its settlement building. JBHPI@Qt%
Ban said that time is not on the parties' side in finding a solution to their decades-long disagreements. h {
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"Ending the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and achieving a two- state solution is long overdue," he said. "Time is not our friend. " ?o6#i 3k#'
The diplomatic Quartet for Middle East peace, consisting of the UN, the EU, the U.S., and Russia had set the deadline for negotiating a final settlement between Israel and Palestine for September 2011. Thus far, there has been no indication that direct negotiations between Israel and Palestine will resume. 'L7u`
"The two parties have been negotiating, the negotiations have been up and down," said Ban. "And it is really high time to resolve this issue, to realize a two-State solution where Israelis and Palestinians can live side by side in peace and security. That is the vision agreed upon by the two sides and supported by all the countries around the world. So, I am asking them to enter into a meaningful negotiation."